What you say:

“I really want to work at COMPANY. All the people I know who work at COMPANY are amazing representatives of VALUE 1, VALUE 2, and VALUE 3 that I find EXAGGERATED FEELING.”

What you mean:

“Your company kool-aid is tasty. Lots of people have drank it, and some are still drinking it. On the off chance that I might have the opportunity to drink it, I will subject myself to your ratings system. Now, given that your hiring practices are on par with cattle heading to the slaughter house, I have prepared some alternative plans for myself that I don’t feel comfortable sharing with you.”

Another week here, another 200+ egos bruised. That is the state of the union. There are some who did make it, and some who made it to yet another round of interviews.

No worries. Dust yourselves off. It’s not you (unless, like someone I know, not me of course, but a friend of mine from umm… Canada, but you don’t know him) thought that 40% of 1b USD is 40m USD.

Pursue alternatives. You should pursue alternatives like it is your JOB. In fact, it should be your job.

I don’t feel bad for people who got DINGed – that part is life. Don’t be angry at the companies who DINGed you. They are liberating you.

I feel terrified for those without alternatives. Channel your efforts to power your idea generation capabilities, to unlock the potential of your BRAIN. You have spent resources growing your brain, use it.

Even if you end up selling kittens and lemonade, make sure you size the market, create an offering, maximize value, and LOVE your life.

Much love, and hugs for those who need it – now get up and get out there!

We have trained for months and now we are rounding the corner of Opportunity Boulevard and Career Drive.

Welcome to our race.

We are business school students.

We are leaders.

We are human beings.

We represent potential.

We are not commodities.

We are not hiring statistics.

We are not headcount.

Do not thank us for our interest in your positions, or wish us the best of luck in our future endeavours. We are grown-ups, we can take rejection. You have made some of us cry, you have made a lot of us sad, but you can not stop us.

We will band together and we will create opportunities. We will buy prime real estate along Opportunity Boulevard and Career Drive.

To those of you in the race next year, keep in mind, it’s actually a Triathlon.

You will swim in a deep Blue Ocean, ride through the plains of Discounted Cash Flows and run the First 100 Days of Turnarounds.

And don’t worry, we will reserve the plot next to ours on Opportunity Boulevard just for you.

There comes a time in every man’s life when he realises that he needs to change. And sometimes this change in behaviour is subtle. Sometimes this change in behaviour is fundamental. This, my dear readers of this blog, is rather subtle. The tone of this blog will be changing.

Now, for months, post after post, you have become accustomed to a certain, how should we put it, irreverence about the state of affairs? A certain joie de vivre ?

Well, I have been approached to write for, and on behalf of an organisation. An organisation, that over the last few months has become very near and dear to my heart.

This organisation that has forever earned place on my parents’ mantle wall as well as real estate on my resume. Right under “Education”.

So what does this mean for you? Aside from a access to some fun facts about this organisation, it also means a change in tone. This Persian author, who grew up in America, is going to go back to the origins of the founding fathers of America – the United Kingdom. The English will now be British English.

The colorful commentary will now be colourful.

The irreverent behavior will still be irreverent, but will be irreverent behaviour.

And finally, while the pen is still mightier than the sword. This author has traded his pen for a …

quill.

And, this author is no longer JACKED about this opportunity. He is rather pleased.

Ahhh, the DINGs continue. This just forwarded to me…

Student received the following DING letter less than 24 hours after applying to a job. Check out the audacity of this firm.

“Thank you for your interest in the ROLE position with COMPANY.  The quality of applications for this role were particularly high and we regret to inform you, we will not be progressing your application any further for this particular role as there were others whose skills and experience matched our requirements more closely.

Unfortunately we are unable to give individual feedback at this stage of the process, however we would like to take this opportunity to thank you for your interest in COMPANY and request that you continue to visit http://WEBSITE to look for other roles that maybe a good fit for your skills and interests.   As you will see we are always looking for top talent.  If you happen to come upon a role that is a better fit for a colleague or friend, please send them our way!”

Favorite part of the letter — the use of the exclamation mark. Let me translate that for you in simpler words.

“We didn’t even have to finish the cup of coffee we were drinking to figure out that there is no way we are hiring your dumb ass. On the off chance that you have smart friends, send THOSE people our way. Feel free to look around our site for other opportunities for us to kill what remains of your self esteem.”

Ladies and gentlemen… it’s not just you. It’s DING season.. it’s happening to everyone (except for the author of this blog, because he is totally employable for all jobs in the universe. That’s right. ALL OF THEM.)

But, I wrote you a cover love letter telling you that I love you.

The roller coaster is coming to an end. The ups, the downs, the loopty loop. In this part of the roller coaster, you look to your left, you look to your right, and you see JOBS JOBS JOBS JOBS… but none of them are yours. Yet.

You go to the company presentations. You do some soul searching. You do some creative thinking. Hours and hours of anxiety after you hit the “Send” button.

But do they “like me”? or “like like me?”

You are armed with a bullet-proof sense of courage, a CV (that you’ve spell-checked 47 times) and a cover letter that should be called a “love letter”, all targeted to the company that you imagine yourself working at.

Close your eyes.

Do you see yourself working there? Going to work every morning? Making some friends at work? Delivering high quality work that would make your parents, alumni, and self proud? You see that? You got that picture in your mind. Crystal clear.

Wait for it.

DING.

That’s right.

“Dear APPLICANT (we swear we write each one of these by hand),

Thank you for your application. At this time, we have decided that we do not in fact like you in the same way that you like us. I can’t even explain to you why this isn’t going to work out.

Regards,
SOMEONE WHO IS LUCKY ENOUGH TO WORK AT THIS TOTALLY AWESOME COMPANY YOU WANTED TO WORK AT”

At least twenty people in the last few days have told me about their DING letters. This article is for those people, and all future receivers of DING-letters. To all of those people out there, let me share with you what MY letter to you would say:

“Hey man,

Look, you’re in there. You’re making a go of it. And you know what I like the most about what you’re going through right now? You’re trying, and I love you for it. Keep trying. Sometimes though, it’s not going to work out. Keep trying man. You might need to make some modifications, and sometimes you might just not be right for that company that sent you the response letter.

You are accomplished. You are eager. You are a fighter. I’m going to share with you a quote that I like.

“It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat.” — Theodore Roosevelt.

Take some time. Dust yourself off. Get back in there. You got a great team in your corner who believes you are a champion.

That other company doesn’t know who they just lost.

Much love,
MPD”

Continuing with the food theme, I was having dinner with some classmates the other night. Sitting down to order sushi, the conversation turned towards discussions of our future plans.

What can you say in times like this? Recession? Increased competition domestically and internationally? Doom, Gloom, Sadness and Strife?

No way! I refuse to believe that.

I did NOT come over here, make this kind of a commitment of time and money to just lay down and let this negative attitude prevail. Then again, I can’t exactly ignore these things either.

So what to do?

This article would be pretty pointless if I just told you something about how you give a man a fish, and they eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will eat forever. That would be too obvious.

The question is “how do you teach a man to fish”?

So then I started thinking, the answer is right there in front of me. Staring at me in this plate of sushi. Why am I sitting here? I’m with friends, I’m enjoying the conversation, but I _really_ like the food. It’s good quality fish, diverse assortment, and presented well. I was willing to pay for that. I was willing to spend time on it. In essence, I was willing to invest in it.

Why not pursue my career in the same way?

No, I’m not going to become a sushi chef.

What if I focused on making sure my career search was high quality. What if my search was diverse? What if it presented well? Would my future employer be willing to invest in that?

In order to accomplish that, I have to learn – and much like I’ve said before, if you’re going to learn, learn from the best.

Turns out, I don’t have to look very far. The best people to learn from were sitting right around the table.

This story WILL have a happy ending.

Globalcitizen

… OUT!

You might know this line from the now infamous video starring T-Pain and cast members from Saturday Night Live.

However, this is my reality.

Many of you have been avid readers of this blog, and I appreciate that. I had initially started this blog to document my travels (many of you remember my 7 continents, 5 years, 1 message mission). This space then evolved to a house for my Notion to Motion project, where I talked about building a business based on passion.

48 episodes later, we are up and running and have come to the end of that chapter in the journey.

So where have I been? What have I been up to?

Well, some of you know that I took some time off of work, put the businesses on hold, and went back to business school. I am currently attending INSEAD. A <insert amazing adjectives here> business school with two campuses – one in France and the other in Singapore.

The curriculum is broken up into 5 periods, 2 of which I have already completed on the campus in France, and now I am beginning my 3rd period in Singapore.

While the weather is nice, the beaches amazing, and the travel plentiful — the task at hand is still quite intense.

Learn from some of the best and brightest minds in business along side some of the most intelligent people I have met.

So yes, I do have my swim trunks, my flippy floppies, and now, I also have a different learning perspective.

These changes are exciting, but some things don’t change. You know how we sign off here at globalcitizenexperiment. Globalcitizen…. OUT!

What is green, steamy, and chalked full of nuts?

Well, if you’re a decendent of the Hakkas ethnic group, this riddle is not much of a challenge for you. But for the rest of you, let me introduce you to Thunder Tea Rice.

What is it? Check it out.. I’m paraphrasing from various sources… but the story goes something like this…

Once upon a time, in a land far far away, there were these people (known as the Hakkas). War and strife was rampant in Northern China and the Hakkas were not having ANY of it. So they packed up their stuff, and hit the road. (Author’s note: I wonder if any of them were named Jack, because then they could sing “hit the road, jack.. and don’t you come back no more, no more, no more, no more…” – but sadly that song wasn’t written yet)

Anyway, so the legend goes, these people got hungry. And, you know, when you’re an entire ethnic group on the road, you’re not exactly pulling the bus into McDonalds. They INVENTED food. Can you believe that? I mean, they opened up the ancient pantry, and INVENTED SOMETHING!

Here’s pretty much an exact recount of how that whole thing went down…

Tribal guy #1: I’m starving. Do we have anything to eat around here?
Tribal guy #2: Umm… well, we got some grains here.
Tribal guy #3: Yeah, I see some soybeans and nuts here too.
Tribal guy #4: Ooo ooo, I think I see some lentils here.
Tribal guy #1: Well, mash it up, and let’s go already!

And thus was born Lei Cha.

Since the people found it impossible to heat water, Lei Cha became a tailor-made product for the tribe-on-the-go. These guys ended up loving this stuff so much, that when they finally got to where they were going, they heated up water, made green tea, and poured it into a bowl with the mashed up contents and yumminess found it’s roots.

FAST FORWARD TO A FEW DAYS AGO

I have had this dish, and it is yummy.